#GoGetThoseGeckos

Wars and killing and death dominated the news. No wonder Bill Maher decided to open his Real Time with Bill Maher show (episode 326) on 7/25/14 with a mention of copulating lizards lost in space. We all needed a giggle, and the image of geckos going to town on a Russian space satellite that the Russians had lost control of was just the thing to bring on the giggles. 

I thought that was the end of it, but John Oliver, on his HBO Sunday night show (7/27/14 at 11:00 pm), devoted the final five minutes of his thirty-minute show, Last Week Tonight, to talking about the geckos. He asked everyone to use the hashtag,  #gogetthosegeckos, to increase awareness of the plight of these reptilian spacefarers.

No one is talking about why those geckos are floating around in space. Why did Russia want to study the mating habits of geckos in space. I’m asking the question and answering it.

I recently learned that Russia wants to do a manned moon landing. Perhaps their ultimate goal is the colonization of the moon and other planets. Neil deGrasse Tyson, Maher's guest on the 7/25/14 Real Time show said that Jupiter’s moon ,Europa, was quite lovely this time of year. Maybe the Russians want to know how reproduction works off-Earth.  Maybe the Russians are planning to send “Adam and Yeva” to colonize other worlds.

 
Enjoy this film clip of John Oliver getting all worked up over the fate of the geckos and then read my full review and recap of episode 326 of Real Time with Bill Maher.  I titled the review, Realityville, because we all have to live there now. 

 

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7/31/14 Good news! the geckos are lost no more. Russia has reestablished contact with the space satellite. Read it HERE.  So it's back to the happy humping grounds for our little space sexplorers. Thank you twitterverse for saving these little creatures.

 

9/8/14 Bad news. The geckos have gone to the happy humping ground in the sky. John Olivier reported that while the satellite was malfunctioning, the gekckos froze to death.

 

Bill Maher’s Guests #326 July 25, 2014

 

Richard D. Wolff: Economist, author of Democracy at Work: The Cure for Capitalism

 

Neil deGrasse Tyson: Astrophysicist, Director of the Hayden Planetarium, author of several books, including Death by Black Hole: And Other Cosmic Quandaries, host of TV show, Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey

 

Hogan Gidley: Senior political advisor for Republican consulting firm BraebenderCox

 

Amy Goodman: journalist, columnist, radio host of Democracy Now, author of several books including The Exception to the Rulers: Exposing Oily Politicians, War Profiteers, and the Media That Love Them and The Silenced Majority: Stories of Uprisings, Occupations, Resistance, and Hope (with Denis Moynihan and Michael Moore) 

 

Matt Kibbe: Economist, President and CEO of Republican think tank, FreedomWorks, author of Don't Hurt People and Don't Take Their Stuff: A Libertarian Manifesto



Tank You Very Much

Tanks in the streets of Boston

by Catherine Giordano

One of the best things about comedians like Bill Maher (and Jon Stewart, John Oliver
and Stephan Colbert) is that they can do exposés, tell us it’s comedy, and get people to watch it. Bill Maher did this country a public service on July 18, 2014, on “Real Time with Bill Maher,” episode #325, in his New Rules segment “Blitzkrieg Cops.” It was about local police outfitted like an invading army.
 

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Remember the tanks in the street after the Boston Marathon bombing. It reminded me of Hungary in 1956 and Tiananmen Square in 1989. But worse than tanks and grenade

launchers, are the almost constant stories of out-of-control police acting like the Gestapo in Nazi Germany.

 

Just recently, a man in New York was choked to death, a homeless man in Arizona was shot to death, and an old woman was repeatedly punched nearly to death in California.  None of these people were violent. In every case, the amount of force used was totally excessive. When I see these stories on TV, there is usually more than one cop present and involved. Talk about your jack-booted thugs and your Boko Haram—these police are like marauding gangs. 

 

I’d like to say enjoy the video, but the subject is much too disturbing for enjoyment.. so I’ll just say watch Maher do his New Rules bit.

 

 

 

Read my review and recap of the full show titled, ”Death Star.”



CLICK HERE

You also might want to hear John Oliver’s scathing report on prisons from the July 20, 2014 episode of “Last Week tonight” on HBO.

Read "The Rise of the Warrior Cop" for more information. The author, Radley Balko, was a guest on a previous show in November 2013. (See "Same Old, Same Old.")

8/13/14 Update: The tanks are in Fergusson MO now.  You can't say Maher didn't warn us.

 

Bill Maher’s Guests for July 18, 2014

 

Rev. Dr. William J Barber II: State NAACP President for North Carolina, Leader of the Moral Monday protests 

 

Jane Harmon: Former Congresswoman (D, CA), President and CEO of The Wilson Center 

 

Nate Silver: Statistician, editor-in-chief of ESPN's FiveThirtyEight blog, special correspondent for ABC News, author of The Signal and the Noise: Why So Many Predictions Fail — but Some Don't  

 

Jamie Weinstein: Political columnist and commentator, senior editor of The Daily Caller, a conservative news and opinion website, author of  The Lizard King: The Shocking Inside Account of Obama's True Intergalactic Ambitions by an Anonymous White House Staffer (with Will Rahn)  

 

GeorgeTakei:  actor, LGBT activist, author of several books including Oh Myyy!: There Goes The Internet, subject of a new documentary, To Be Takei 

 

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7/25/14 I have just learned inserting Youtube videos can be iffy. I discovered that "Blitzkrieg Cops video that I posted was gone from Yutube. I've inserted another one. I apologize if you tried and were unable to access it.

 

Zombie Lies: The GOP Lies that Refuse to Die

If you missed "Real Time with Bill Maher" #324 that aired on July 11, 2014, enjoy this video of the highlight of the show--The New Rules segment on "Zombie Lies. "  It comments on how Republicans will never let a any of their lies die, not matter how many times they are proven proven false.  

 

You can read the full review and recap of the show at Premium Cable Reviews: Zombie Lies

 

 

Bill Maher’s Guests: #324 July 11, 2014

Jason Box: climatologist, glaciologist

Rep. Donna Edwards: Congresswoman (D, MD)

Ron Suskind: Pulitzer Prize winning journalist, author--His most recent book is Life, Animated: A Story of Sidekicks, Heroes, and Autism

Reihan Salam: conservative political commentator, columnist for Slate and National Review, author of Grand New Party: How Republicans Can Win the Working Class and Save the American Dream

Sandra Tsing Loh: writer, actress, and radio personality—Her books include The Madwoman in the Volvo: My Year of Raging Hormones and  Mother on Fire: A True Motherf%#$@ Story About Parenting!

 

Oopsies: Rick-Perry-is-Stupid Jokes

Rick Perry and his "Oopsies." 

Governor Rick Perry (R, TX) was the butt of a few of Maher’s jokes on Real Time with Bill Maher, episode #324 which aired on 7/11/14.

Maher quipped that Obama did not need to go to the border “to see a five-year old who can barely speak English. I’m with Rick Perry right now.”

Maher also said that all the media coverage of Obama shaking hands with a man wearing a horse-head mask shouldn’t have been a big deal because he later shook hands with “a horse’s ass” (Rick Perry).

December 2016: This next bit is not a joke. This is really happening. Donald Trump has chosen Rick Perry for Secretary of Energy.l

Rick Perry is not qualified to be Secretary of Energy.

Why did Trump chose him? I think he wants to silence his critics by giving them jobs in his administration.

Rick Perry is so often unintentionally funny because he says really stupid things. Sometimes it I hard to tell what is a joke and what is an actual quote.

Now back to jokes.

Ever since the 2011 Republican presidential debate when Perry said, “It’s three agencies of government when I get there that are gone – Commerce, Education and the um, what’s the third one there? Let’s see. Oh five – Commerce, Education and the um, um.” After a bit more blathering he concluded, "I can’t the third one. I can’t. Sorry, Oops.”

So whenever Rick Perry says something stupid, I call it an Oopsie. Also when comedians joke about the stupid things Rick Perry says, I call that an “oopsie also. 

Enjoy these “oopsies” and add some of your own in the comments section. 

“Obama has an ulterior motive regarding the children,” said Perry. “It smells of a conspiracy, just like science." –The Newsosphere 

"Rick Perry compares homosexuality to alcoholism like a guy who's tried really hard to quit....something." –John Fugelsang  

"Rick Perry, got his degree in animal husbandry, had his own father-in-law perform his own vasectomy, and in the 80s his nickname was 'Crotch.' As a late night comedian, Texas, I’m begging you, please make this guy run for President." –Conan O’Brien

"Rick Perry is wearing glasses now. He thinks they make him look smarter, more serious, and ...what was that third thing? --Stephan Colbert 

"Rick Perry has a new book, "Bush for Dummies. Guvamint Allwaze Rong." --Bill Maher on the 1/17/15 show 

Read "Zombie Lies," the full review for Real Time with Bill Maher #324


2015 campaign Oopsies
There will be a lot more oopsies. On June 4, 2015, Rick Perry announced that he is running for president again. His announcement speech contained this oopsie.

"There is nothing wrong with America today that a change in leadership won't make happen."  --Rick Perry

Jon Stewart (also on June 4, quoted Rick Perry saying that America must risk the consequences of electing him. He suggested the following bumper sticker.

"Rick Perry: Risk the Consequences."  Jon added, "That's the same slogan you use to advocate unprotected sex." --Jon Stewart

On Tuesday September 3, 2015 Perry, because he is at 1% in the polls, was asked on Fox News, "Are you getting out of the race?'' Maybe he is back on the pain meds or maybe he is so perturbed by having fallen so low without a single paid staffer left, he gave this answer.

"A broken clock is right once a day. I'm still here." --Rick Perry

Err--That is twice a day, Perry.  And what does that mean about your campaign? You are only still here by happenstance? Weird! How many strikes until  you are out, Perry? Can you get that one right?

On Wednesday September 9, 2015, Stephen Colbert did a bit on his show about The Donald Trump hat and what the hat would have written on it if other candidates decided to use a similar hat. Colbert showed us Rick Perry's hat with the word "oops" written across it.

On Friday November 11, 2015 Rick Perry officially dropped out of the race for the Republican nomination for president, the first of the 17 announced candidates to do so. RIP, Rick.

2016-17 Update

Send me you Rick Perry jokes. Put them in the comments or use facebook private message. 

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Bill Maher’s Guests: #324 July 11, 2014

Jason Box: climatologist, glaciologist

 

Rep. Donna Edwards: Congresswoman (D, MD)

 

Ron Suskind: Pulitzer Prize winning journalist, author--His most recent book is Life, Animated: A Story of Sidekicks, Heroes, and Autism

Reihan Salam: conservative political commentator, columnist for Slate and National Review, author of Grand New Party: How Republicans Can Win the Working Class and Save the American Dream

Sandra Tsing Loh: writer, actress, and radio personality—Her books include The Madwoman in the Volvo: My Year of Raging Hormones and  Mother on Fire: A True Motherf%#$@ Story About Parenting! 

Bill Maher, #323 The Real Zombie Apocalypse?

I found this picture at denverlibrary.org

Two of the guests on Real Time with Bill Maher – each from a different world, but those worlds collided on the June 27, 2014 show.

The interview was with Dr. Martin Blaser, Director of the NYU Human Microbiome Program, Professor of Microbiology at New York University School of Medicine, author of Missing Microbes: How the Overuse of Antibiotics Is Fueling Our Modern Plagues. He comes from the world of medicine, and he has written a book about a possible coming apocalypse.

The mid-show guest was Max Brooks, son of Mel Brooks, and author of World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War, The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead, and a graphic novel, The Harlem Hellfighters (with illustrator Caanan White). He comes from the world of books and Hollywood, and he has written a book about a fictional zombie apocalypse.

Dr. Martin Blaser wants to alert us to the dangerous consequences of the overuse of antibiotics.  We probably all already know that bacteria are becoming resistant to antibiotics limiting our ability to control disease. The new, and even scarier information is that the good bacteria that humans need to survive has also been affected—reduced in number, changed, made less diverse. Dr. Blaser posits that the changes to the human microbiome are responsible for the rise of obesity, asthma, diabetes, and even certain kinds of cancer.  

Today I read a story in the newspaper which claimed a link between autoimmune diseases, like rheumatoid arthritis, and the apocalypse in the human intestinal tract—changes in the symbiotic mircobiota residing in the gut. Here’s a fun fact: These microbiota outnumber the body’s own cells 10 to 1.  

What does this have to do with zombies? The answer to that comes in a recent episode of Through the Wormhole with Morgan Freeman. This show likened zombies to rabid animals. Imagine a microbe which is airborne like the flu, and like the flu incubates, leaving the infected person symptom-free for a few days. Imagine further that unlike the flu, this disease does not send us to our beds, but instead turns us into a wild enraged animal, like a dog with rabies. 

The people infected with this new rabies-like disease would act like the zombies of fiction. The epidemic would suddenly erupt world-wild becoming even more widespread as the infected individuals run amok on a rampage spreading the disease even further. What if, unlike the zombies on the TV show, The Walking Dead, who are slow and clumsy, the zombies were more like the zombies of World War Z, who can move really fast?

The flu pandemic of 1919 killed up to 100 million people—2-3% of the world’s population.  How many would be killed by a pandemic of zombies?  

Scared yet?  Maybe scared enough to make me stop watching TV. And reading the newspaper.

 
P.S. I did a news print poem on this subject: The Zombie Apocalypse.

P.S: I wrote a article about zombies. The most comprehensive article about zombies tat is also reader-friendly on the web. Zombies: The Popularity, Mythology, Psychology, Philosophy, and Reality.

Read the full review of episode #323, Horror and Mayhem, on my other blog: Premium Cable Reviews

 

Bill Maher’s Guests, #322, June 27, 2014

Joy Reid: journalist, anchor of the MSNBC show The Reid Report, managing editor of TheGrio.com, political columnist for the Miami Herald, and the editor of The Reid Report political blog

Andy Dean: host of America Now with Andy Dean, a radio talk show 

Bobby Ghosh: journalist, managing editor for Atlantic Media’s Quartz, former TIME Magazine's World Editor, author of The New Middle East (with Time Magazine editors) 

Dr. Martin Blaser: Director of the NYU Human Microbiome Program, Professor of Microbiology at New York University School of Medicine, author of Missing Microbes: How the Overuse of Antibiotics Is Fueling Our Modern Plagues 

Max Brooks: author of World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War, The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead, and a graphic novel, The Harlem Hellfighters (with illustrator Caanan White)