Bill Maher #337 Headline Predictions Winter 2014



by Catherine Giordano  

The hottest new toy for Christmas:
"Hands Up, Elmo"*

Whenever HBO's Real Time with Bill Maher goes on hiatus, he devotes the mid-show comedy segment to a series of predictions for newspaper headlines for the period he will be off the air. The November 21, 2014 sow which was the final on for 2014 was no exception.  Maher gave us a slew of ridiculous and funny predictions

 

Whenever HBO's Real Time with Bill Maher goes on hiatus, he devotes the mid-show comedy segment to a series of predictions for newspaper headlines for the period he will be off the air. The November 21, 2014 sow which was the final on for 2014 was no exception.  Maher gave us a slew of ridiculous and funny predictions.

 

For example: 

 

• Amazon to Offer Baby Delivery
• Anthropologists Find Woman Untouched by Bill Cosby
• Pope Francis OK with Just About Everything
• San Francisco Bans Straight Marriage
• U.S Tour of Liberian Monkeys Sees Low Ticket Sales
• Bruce Jenner to Plastic Surgeon: Give me Renee Zellweger’s Old Face

See the video clip. 

 



 

As is now becoming my custom, whenever Maher does this bit, I try to see if I can top him with some of my own predictions.

 

What do you think of these?

• Hottest New Toy for Christmas is “Hands Up, Elmo.”
• Palin Tweets: “Santa is a Liberal.”
• “Elf-on-a-Shelf” is Favorite for Republican Nomination for President

Do you have a headline prediction? Add it to the comments.

 

*Note: The real name of this toy is Sesame Street: My Peek-Boo-Elmo Toy. CLICK HERE to see more information about this toy.

Read the full review and recap of this episode of Real Time with Bill Maher: Tis the Season to be Stupid

 

 

Bill Maher’s Guests:  #337, November 21, 2014

 

John Cleese: Actor, comedian, film producer and author of several books. His latest book is Say Anyway… 

Seth Rogen: Actor, comedian. His most recent movie is The Neighbors. 

Christia Freeland: Journalist, politician, author of Plutocrats: The Rise of the New Global Super-Rich and the Fall of Everyone Else 

 

Chris Mathews: Host of MSNBC’s Hardball with Chris Mathews and author of several books.  His most recent book is Tip and the Gipper: When Politics Worked 

 

Roland Martin: Journalist, host of TV One News and author of Speak Brother: A Black Man’s View of America



Bill Maher #327 Headline Predictions

by Catherine Giordano


Headline: Royal Baby Does Something Every Baby Does

Real Time with Bill Maher, episode 327, which aired on August 1, 2014 was the last show before the August vacation.  It’s Maher’s traditional for the last show before he leaves for vacation to a segment about the headlines we might see while the show is on hiatus. Here are the headlines Maher predicted:

Mass Illness on Carnival Cruise Liner

Royal Baby Does Something Every Baby Does, World is Blown Away

Gun Accident Claims Life of Exactly the Kind of person You’d Expect

Scientists Discover Mice Have Been Bullshitting Them for Decades

Maylasian Airlines Lands One

That Thing the NSA Says It Doesn’t Do, It Does

In 5-4 Decision Supreme Court Rules Female Orgasm “Unconstitutional”

NFL Season Begins. Americans Realize How Much Soccer Blows

GM Recalls Three Remaining Cars

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Here’s the YouTube video of the segment.

 

 

I decided to try making up some of my own:

Not really Putin,

 

Shirtless Putin Wrestles Shark

 Obama Neglects to Say “God Bless You” When Boehner Sneezes 

Tea Party Candidate Punches Out GOP Opponent in Brawl over Primary Results

 

Why not make up a few of your own?  Put them in the comments section. Give it a try. You can do it. I'm not particularly clever and I came up with three in three minutes.

See my full review and recap  of episode 327: Frat Party

Bill Maher’s Guests #327 August 1, 2014

Ralph Nader: political activist, former candidate (and spoiler) in the presidential election of 2000, author of several books including his latest book (with Luke Nichter)

Unstoppable: The Emerging Left-Right Alliance to Dismantle the Corporate State

 Andrew Ross Sorkin: journalist, financial columnist for The New York Times, co-anchor of CNBC's Squawk Box, author of Too Big to Fail: The Inside Story of How Wall Street and Washington Fought to Save the Financial System--and Themselves

 Reza Aslan: scholar of religion,. associate professor of creative writing at the University of California, author of several books including Zealot: The Life and Times of Jesus of Nazareth

 

Doug Heye: Eric Cantor’s deputy chief of staff for communications

 

Chris Hardwick: Comedian, actor, screenwriter, musician, podcaster, television host for @Midnight on Comedy Central, author of The Nerdist Way: How to Reach the Next Level (In Real Life)